Monsters! Monsters! Podcast

[monstermike]

There is an actual play podcast of an amusing session of Monsters! Monsters! on the RPGMP3 Community Podcast for those that enjoy such things. The PC's are scouts from the Monster Army, set to infiltrate the human keep and blow open the gates. It kicks off with them being given breathing tubes to use and ducks to put on their heads so they can swim across the moat and into the sewer pipe without being detected. Wacky goodness.

On iTunes, search for RPGMP3 Community Podcast.
Or, here's the direct link:

www.rpgmp3.com/files/game_recordings/Whartson_Hall_Gamers/Whartstock2011_Monsters_Monsters_main.mp3

[mahrundl]

That sounds just too funny for words, monstermike. Looking forward to listening to it.

[Toad-Killer-Dog]

Have an exalt on me!

I love listening to play sessions and I think this is the first Monsters! Monsters! podcast I've ever seen. ;D

[bigjackbrass]

Oct 4, 2011 6:46:38 GMT -5 Toad-Killer-Dog said:

I love listening to play sessions and I think this is the first Monsters! Monsters! podcast I've ever seen. ;D

It is, to the best of my knowledge, the only one out there. T&T sessions are rare enough, but we should hopefully fix that in the future.

Thanks for the mention of our audio, monstermike. I ran it at our annual "Whartstock" mini-convention, essentially just a gathering of friends who normally live rather too far apart to game together. The core group is local, the rest of us "met" through RPGMP3.com and at the UK Games Expo in Birmingham. Whartstock this year was particularly compact, as circumstances forced a last-minute relocation to my house instead of the usual venue

The players seemed to enjoy Monsters! Monsters! a great deal. Being a convention scenario I wanted to give them a bit more of a goal beyond random destruction; the competing armies and need to take down the drawbridge provided some focus. I did briefly confuse myself by forgetting that M!M! does not use the 5th edition missile rules, but nobody's perfect

It's such a terrific idea for an RPG, full of potential and sadly overlooked. I shall certainly keep it at the top of my list for convention games, even if regular play continues to elude me.

[skathros]

Oct 22, 2011 4:50:26 GMT -5 bigjackbrass said:

Oct 4, 2011 6:46:38 GMT -5 Toad-Killer-Dog said:

It's such a terrific idea for an RPG, full of potential and sadly overlooked.

So true, both the "terrific idea for an RPG" part as well as the "full of potential" part!

A well deserved exalt for doing your part to keep this gem alive!

[devadasi]

Big Jack, can you tell us what each of the "secrets" that the monsters carried was? i am very interested in running a scenario like this, and i really love the idea of each monster having a secret, but i didn't catch what each characters secret was just through listening to the course of play.

[bigjackbrass]

Unfortunately my computer died screaming a couple of weeks ago; as yet I don't have everything properly organised on the replacement. I can tell you what secrets were on the cards, but offhand I can't tell you which ones were picked by which player:

Secret agendas:

• Kidnap Sir Roderick's daughter and return her to General Hangnail. Let nobody else know.
  
• Kidnap Sir Roderick's daughter and return her to Overlord Spleen. Let nobody else know.
  
• Steal the strongbox from the Keep and take it to General Hangnail. DO NOT open it.
  
• Steal the strongbox from the Keep and take it to Overlord Spleen. DO NOT open it.
  
• There are rumours of a spy in the camp. Root them out.
  
• There is apparently a powerful magical weapon hidden in the Keep. You could steal it and take it to your leader... or you've had a tempting offer from a Black Hobbit who'll be waiting in the woods to the North... or you could always keep it...

If any of these apparently contradict your allegiance (such as taking an item to General Hangnail when you are really part of Overlord Spleen's army) then remember that you are a monster, possibly not entirely trustworthy...

Personal secrets:

• You love flowers, their delicacy, colours and subtle scents, but you can never let the other monsters know this. How you long to talk to someone about flowers, to settle down and raise orchids in a country garden...
  
• You love one of the other PCs, completely, irrationally, passionately. They must never know, of course, but you long to be near them and would do anything to help them.
  
• You are actually a human undercover officer, Agent Double-Or-Nothing, wearing the latest and most advanced magical disguise, sent to infiltrate the Monster army. If this appears to contradict your special abilities/weakness then work out an explanation (such as sunlight deactivating your disguise instead of turning you to stone if you're a troll). This secret overrides your Secret Agenda card: you may ignore that and substitute this: learn all you can about the strengths of the enemy, foil any attempt to take the Keep, steal any special magics, items or technology the monster army has. Of course you could double-cross your human masters, but would the monsters believe you?
  
• Humans are great. You've always really liked them, particularly their children, but somehow you fell in with a bad crowd. If only you could do something to persuade them that you're really on their side then maybe you wouldn't have to be part of this horrid army any more. Can't we all just get along?
  
• Hangnail? Spleen? Pah! Cretins, dolts, imbeciles! Scarcely monsters at all. They are not worthy to lick the dirt from your boots. Or toes. Or whatever you have. There should be only one leader of this combined force and somehow you know that this is the moment to prove that it must be you! Don't hand the victory to those fools, take the keep and the army for yourself! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

If any of these contradict your abilities or nature then work out a justification.

Hope that helps. I think that Margot managed to pick a secret love for humans, particularly kids, which was practically designed to cause problems for her, and Jeremy just wanted to take over the world and have everyone kneel at his feet.

[bigjackbrass]

While we're at it, here are the character notes:

Characters: Roll 1d6. Odds, you are under General Hangnail; Evens, Overlord Spleen.

• Benny the Shoggoth (played in the film by Bernard Bresslaw) (entranced by piccolo music, terrified of fire, can't read) (plastic body can reform into different shapes)
  
• Hefty the Troll (played in the film by Jim Dale) (turns to stone in direct sunlight, can't read, always peckish) (ignores crushing damage)
  
• Shifty Pitflaps the Goblin (played in the film by Terry Scott) (insatiable fondness for fish, cowardly when alone, can't read but pretends he can) (superbly quiet and sneaky when wearing soft slippers)
  
• Jeremy the Dark Elf (played in the film by Kenneth Williams) (easily fixated on being unnecessarily cruel, detests dirt, adores luxury and culture) (can pass for human, can read,
  
• Margot the Lamia (played in the film by Fenella Fielding) (Loves to flirt with and seduce humans but especially loves to eat children) (almost hypnotically charming, can read, half of her can pass for human)
  
• Tinker the Gremlin (played in the film by Peter Butterworth) (finds it hard to resist tampering with mechanical items, including the explosive mine. Cannot read - nobody ever reads the manual!) (brilliant at dismantling locks etc)

Feel free to substitute a different actor/actress as inspiration.

Defenders of Bunco Keep:

• Sir Roderick Bunco: Lord of the manor, he was unable to accompany his troops due to a gouty foot, so he is on hand to defend the keep but can't get around too well. Two servants, Ruskin and Hobbes, carry him around in an improvised sedan chair.
  
• Brad the Bowman: The grim captain of the archers, Brad has the unusual ability to talk to birds and frequently addresses his arrows too.
  
• Prunella, Sir Roderick's lovely daughter: Wears flowers in her hair and believes that no-one is truly bad.
  
• Pembroke the Fishmonger: based on Unhygienix in Asterix, fights with swordfish, turbot, whelks as caltrops, thrown spiny urchins etc.
  
• 'Arry the Spiv: always found smoking a dog-end. He will happily sell the defenders out and then turn around and double cross the monsters, as long as he makes a profit. "Gotta look out for numero uno, know what I mean, chum?"
  
• Old Malcolm, the gardener: Sir Roderick insists on flowers and fresh veg in the keep, unusual in this day and age, and Malcolm tends the garden. He is a monk, but his real religion is plants... and Kung Fu.
  
• Assorted NPCs: use characters from the Woodsedge Inn.
  
• Daniels the Wizard: Sir Roderick's advisor and sorcerer. When the alarm sounds he will, despite his advanced years, be engaged in rather energetic activity with the scullery maid.
  
• Timothy: a small boy who thinks monsters are cool and will stumble across the group as he sneaks out of his bedroom. He'll do anything to be allowed to follow them on their mission. He asks lots of questions ("Does being a Lamia mean you can't wear trousers? Why are you so lumpy? Do you always smell of fish?")

Once the alarm is sounded the defenders will light extra torches and prepare burning arrows. Handy if you're carrying, say, a mine full of volatile chemical explosives.

The name "Shifty Pitflaps" was created in the same spirit as Douglas Adams' "Slartibartfast", where he began with something utterly filthy you couldn't possibly say on the radio and then changed it until it was acceptable. With Shifty the prime motivation was to make it difficult for the players to refer to him without accidentally swearing. Pretty highbrow stuff, I think you'll agree :-)

[devadasi]

I am SO gonna run this tonight!

[mahrundl]

An Exalt from over here as well! This has the classic Monsters! Monsters! feel!

[ProfGremlin]

This adventure really does sound loads of fun. I'll have to find a couple of hours and listen to the podcast... hmmm, maybe Wednesday. In any event, thank you MonsterMike for bringing this to our attention and thank you, Big Jack, for putting the podcast up for the rest of us to enjoy. Oh, and would you pass along a virtual exalt to your fellow Whartstock Players? It's a great group that can play this well together.

[devadasi]

BigJack, i am planning on running this at the first opportunity... i was wondering, what (if any) is the secret magick item in the box from the treasury?

[bigjackbrass]

I think the only designated treasure was the magical sword, which is something of a trap really since it attempts to possess its wielder and turn them into a defender of humankind. There were several other possible items to pick up, generally of the "I'll think of something appropriate at the time" variety, such as a Ring of Indestructibility which conveys no special abilities to the wearer but is itself absolutely impervious to damage. There was also the magical key worn by Daniels, which deactivates some traps under the keep.

If I'd planned anything else then I'm afraid I can't recall what it was offhand

[ProfGremlin]

Oct 31, 2011 12:49:33 GMT -5 bigjackbrass said:

... such as a Ring of Indestructibility which conveys no special abilities to the wearer but is itself absolutely impervious to damage.

I recently watched the movie 127 Hours. I can definitely see a use for such a ring. Not to mention, pull it off your finger and stick it in a doorway or hinge and you've guaranteed that the door won't lock behind you.

[bigjackbrass]

I almost had the chance to drop that ring into a game once, when a player rather more used to D&D insisted on going into a likely shop and asking to buy a magic rings. The shopkeeper, seeing an opportunity, hurriedly produced a tray of odd ring-like items (curtain rings, washers etc) and picked one up, announcing that it was a Ring of Indestructibility! The eager player had his character hand over a fistful of gold and then dash outside to test the ring. Incredibly, he did this by putting it on and then hitting himself in the head, as hard as he could, with the pommel of his sword...

The adventure continued after a short break, with a weaponless, naked and bruised delver rejoining the rest of the party after waking up in a nearby alley ;D