Tunnels and Trolls Songs

[falconious]

Ever wonder what the citizens of Trollworld sing to pass the time?  Wonder no more!

(to the tune of the Schnitzelbank song)

Is this not a pixie's spear?
    Yah that is a pixie's spear!
Can she plunge it through your ear?
    Yah she'll plunge it through your ear!

Pixie's spear, through your ear,
O du schöne, O du schöne, O du schöne schnitzelbank!

Is this not a rock troll's heart?
    Yah that is a rock trolls heart!
Is it his most vital part?
    Yah it's his most vital part!

Rock troll's heart, vital part,
O du schöne, O du schöne, O du schöne schnitzelbank!

Is this not a treasure chest?
    Yah that is a treasure chest!
Does it have a noble's crest?
    Yah it has a noble's crest!

Treasure chest, noble's crest,
O du schöne, O du schöne, O du schöne schnitzelbank!

Is the chest chock full of pearls?
    Yah it is chock full of pearls!
Will you give them to the girls?
    Yah I'll give them to the girls!

Full of pearls, to the girls,
Treasure chest, noble's crest,
O du schöne, O du schöne, O du schöne schnitzelbank!

Will they take you to the dance?
    Yah they'll take me to the dance!
Will they take you at first glance?
    Yah they'll take me at first glance!

To the dance, at first glance,
Full of pearls, to the girls,
O du schöne, O du schöne, O du schöne schnitzelbank!

Will there be a fairy's spell?
    Yah there'll be a fairy's spell!
Will it make the princess yell?
    It'll make the princess yell!

Fairy's spell, princess' yell,
To the dance, at first glance,
O du schöne, O du schöne, O du schöne schnitzelbank!

Will it ruin her pretty dress?
    Yah it ruins her pretty dress!
Will that give her lots of stress?
    It will give her lots of stress!

Ruin her dress, lots of stress,
Fairy's spell, princess' yell,
O du schöne, O du schöne, O du schöne schnitzelbank!


Feel free to chip in with more!

[falconious]

Smash the Gnomes and Grind Them

Smash the gnomes and grind them; add the drippings to your meal! /
Hit them with a hammer hard until they start to squeal! /
Puree their bellies till they're jelly; crush their heads under your heel! /
And make a tasty stew!

Now let's go hunt some werewolves 'neath the glowing of the moon.
Club the bastards till they're senseless, as we sing a jaunty tune.
Pluck their eyeballs with your fingers, scoop their brains out with a spoon.
And make a tasty stew!

To catch some stupid goblins for my daughter's birthday wish.
Let us now go a hunting by the shores of Lake Fish Squish.
Serve their bunions stuffed with onions and their heads upon a dish.
And make a tasty stew!


More verses here:

trollbridge.proboards.com/thread/3547/microdungeons-set-1?page=19

[dungeondevil]

Probably ELO's Turn to Stone (that is, when the sun comes up!)

[tp]

Oh, my old man's a goblin.
he wears a goblin's hat,
he seldom wears any trousers,
and you don't want to picture that!

[dungeondevil]

"Stop Dragon My Heart Around" (Tom Petty/Stevie Nicks)

[dungeondevil]

"Harvester of Eyes", Blue Oyster Cult.

If I ever get a T&T campaign started I must stat out a monstrous collector of ocular organs, and, for that matter, develop a sinister cult that worships the mysterious Blue Oyster. Inside that Oyster is a brilliant pearl that (allegedly) has infinite powers...

[ProfGremlin]

I'm surprised no one's mentioned "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" by Drowning Pool. Sometimes players just want to wreak some havoc as a cathartic release of the pent-up frustrations from 'Real World' experiences.

Now, on the lighter side: "Do Virgins Taste Better & The Dragon's Retort" a pair of songs by The Brobdingnagian Bards. Honestly, I could see these as inspiration for either a solo or full GM adventure.

[peterpanda]

Zombie Jamboree

Well, now
Back to back, belly to belly
Well I don't give a d**n
'Cause it doesn't matter really
Back to back, belly to belly
At the Zombie Jamboree

Now hear me callin'
Back to back, belly to belly
Well I don't give a d**n
'Cause it doesn't matter really
Back to back, belly to belly
At the Zombie Jamboree

Zombie Jamboree took place in a Gullian cemetery (Where?)
Zombie Jamboree took place in a Grimtooth cemetery
Zombies from all parts of the island (Where?)
Some of them are great Calypsonians
Hey, since the season was Carnivale
They got together in Bacchanal

Whatcha doin'?
Back to back, belly to belly
Well I don't give a d**n
'Cause it doesn't matter really
Back to back, belly to belly
At the Zombie Jamboree

Back to back, belly to belly
Well I don't give a d**n
'Cause it doesn't matter really
Back to back, belly to belly
At the Zombie Jamboree

One female zombie wouldn't behave
She say she want me for a slave
In the one hand she's holding a quart of wine (Whoa)
In the other she's pointin' that she'll be mine
Now believe me folks, yes I had to run (Why?)
Husband of a zombie ain't no fun (No nice!)
I says "Oh, no my turtle dove"
"That old bag of bones I cannot love"

Whatcha doin'?
Back to back, belly to belly
Well I don't give a d**n
'Cause it doesn't matter really
Back to back, belly to belly
At the Zombie Jamboree

What a good game!
Back to back, belly to belly
Well I don't give a d**n
'Cause it doesn't matter really
Back to back, belly to belly
At the Zombie Jamboree

Right then and there she raise a *feet*
"I'm a-going to get you now, my sweet"
"I'm gonna make you call me Sweetie Pie"
I says "Oh, no, get back-you lie"
I may be lyin' but you will see (What?)
After you kiss this dead zomb-ie (Blecccch!!!)
No, I've never seen such a horror in me life
Can you imagine me with a zombie wife? (Yes!)

Back to back, belly to belly
Well I don't give a d**n
'Cause it doesn't matter really
Back to back, belly to belly
At the Zombie Jamboree

You're all alone, you know.

Back to back, belly to belly
Well I don't give a d**n
'Cause it doesn't matter really
Back to back, belly to belly
At the Zombie Jamboree

For what it's worth, back in 1978, my 5th grade class went on a camping trip to upstate New York where we spent the night on the property of the late, great, Pete Seeger. After we'd had dinner, he came out of his house and sang songs with us by the campfire for a couple of hours. For some reason, this is the only song he sang with us that night that I still remember after all these years. I had no idea who he was at the time. He was incredibly personable, likable, humble, and fun. The world is less without him.

I made two obvious word changes to the lyrics to make it Trollworld-specific.

Cheers -

PeterPanda

[falconious]

Hunt the elves and slay them, serve their carcass with their cram,
Use their blood for pudding, be sure to squeeze out every dram,
Then top with fried potatoes on their severed diaphragms,
And make a tasty stew!

[dungeondevil]

"Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)", Sly and the Family Stone.

Long ago, a human sorcerer in his cups turned an elf into a mouse for a minor slight, and the unfortunate victim had many, many issue that carried on his genes, creating a new race of creatures in Trollworld. Mice Elves can live for hundreds of years, and have the intelligence to outwit all traps, in addition to a talent for spellcasting. Those descendants also harbor their progenitor's very strong distrust of humans -- and especially of human magic-users.

Mice Elf.......STR 0.10, CON 0.67, DEX 2.5, LK 1.5, IQ 1.5, WIZ 1.75, CHR 2, HGHT 0.05, WGHT 0.02

Mice Elves can be recognised immediately for their fondness for being well-dressed, and possess slightly-pointed ears. They speak both Mouse, Elvish and a number of other tongues for every IQ point over 12.

[falconious]

Among the vines and mushrooms jam the fairies in a sack!
Rip their wings out by the roots to make a tasty snack!
Then quickly twist their heads off; bend their spines back till they crack!
And make a tasty stew!