[Splitting this out from the "Tunnels & Trolls' renaming "that" spell on older edition PDF" thread, since it's only peripherally related.]
When I first encountered the spell now known as "Obey Me!", at the age of about 12, I had lived all of my life in relatively remote rural parts of Australia, and had not had any significant knowledge of many historical or even contemporary aspects of the USA. As a result, the spell name meant nothing to me - I had never heard the phrase, had no idea of its origin, nor of how offensive it could be. There was no internet in those days, and even if there had been, rural Australia wouldn't have had it (it was barely possible to get TV reception in some places, and a single channel at that). So as far as I could see, they were just words that had been chosen for the spell name for some reason.
Obviously I have a much better understanding of the problematic nature of the name now! I suspect though, that as a result of my early upbringing, the phrase has less 'force' for me than it does for many others.
Does anyone else have similar experiences, where they have been ignorant of the meaning of some part of T & T due to cultural or situational differences?
I think we will inevitably see and and play games through the prism of our understanding. I think T&T is mostly unlikely to offend, but as a middle aged white male I am not in the best position to comment. It never dabbled with stat adjustments for gender (kindred is another thing). Obviously the removed spell was well overdue for changing, and was in the Corgi edition of the 80's (which was otherwise 5e).
The most important thing is to ensure people feel comfortable at your tabletop, and as a GM look at what you are running from the players perspective as well.
As an older gamer (> 60 years on this good Earth) I've wrestled with this as well. I've concluded if I can make a change to the way I speak, conduct myself, run a game, etc.; that doesn't violate my personal code? I'm happy to do it. All I ask in return is the same understanding from the other person, as well as understanding and patience when I make the inevitable (and, it is to be hoped, no more than occasional) misstep.
Basically? I'll work together with you to keep things to your level of comfort, but it is a two-way street. It's a game, we play games to have fun ... and I want everyone to enjoy the game.
I don't know if it's culture, but I remember being surprised to learn that people consider rolling your attributes in their order on the character sheet to be a strict interpretation of the rules of 5th edition. Based on the people who said this to me, I'm guessing it's because they were exposed to D&D's little brown books before reading T&T, and I wasn't.