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Post by Toad-Killer-Dog on Jul 6, 2009 7:15:19 GMT -5
I may well be losing my Internet connection pretty soon.
I've never referred to this before, but I am disabled and I care for a disabled Mother. I have been since I was a small child & generally I try not to mention it.
For the last five years we have been battling the IRS over some false charges and it looks like we may well lose our only source of income a rent house.
This has led to two heart attacks and a small stroke from the stress for my mother and an utter feeling of worthlessness and depression so deep death would seem a mercy in myself.
Which really helps when your disabled.
I'm trying to get disability but it is taking a long time, I should have gotten it years before, but the process and the people involved so humiliated me I gave up.
I have two successful brothers and they both refuse to help, I have cut my life down to the bones and they still tell me I don't do enough.
I apologize if I don't get the chance to finish some of the projects I am working on currently.
I have enjoyed my time here very much and hope to continue to take part in the TrollBridge community in the future, but I didn't just want to drop off-line one day and not have anyone know what happened to me.
P.S. Thanks for being such a great group, I wish you all the best.
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Hogscape
11th level Troll
Stalwart of the Trollbridge
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
Posts: 2,126
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Post by Hogscape on Jul 6, 2009 8:40:26 GMT -5
Aaargh! Noooooooooooo! TDK?  That just cuts me to the bone. You have so much to give my friend. For a start, you know absolutely everything about everything! I can't afford to lose that! My wife was diagnosed with MS in 2002. We quickly went from a two-income family doing okay to homeless and helpless in a system that only caters for those 10-fathoms below the poverty line (and fights hard to push them up to 9-fathoms). I currently enjoy an income that is just enough to cancel out Deb's disability pension (and cover the internet) but doesn't leave a cent in the bank. We have both struggled with 'that' feeling TDK (Deb has seriously had a go, twice) but there are people out there that can help. Even if it's just to chat. My email is hogscape@gmail.com if there's anything I can do to help. Anytime. This may sound corny and frivolous but I bet you could sell some freelance game material and make a few dollars that way? As for the 'successful' brothers they are in fact, complete losers... Stay positive brother, don't let 'em beat you. As Jeff Goldblum says 'life will find a way'... and 'twittered reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.' |
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Post by feldrik on Jul 6, 2009 9:00:36 GMT -5
We can't affoad to lose you. We are stronger with you than without you...even if you have to be gone for a while we expect to hear from you again before too long.
Your brothers need to be reminded to at least 'Honor Thy Mother...'.
There are sources other than the government for help as well. Those with Christian ethos want to help and exalt a person that needs it.
I will pray that you come through this dark time.
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Hogscape
11th level Troll
Stalwart of the Trollbridge
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
Posts: 2,126
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Post by Hogscape on Jul 6, 2009 9:08:44 GMT -5
I will pray that you come through this dark time. I've got one of those for you too TDK and I haven't done that since i was about 6. |
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Post by Vin Ahrr Vin on Jul 6, 2009 9:40:16 GMT -5
Hoping everything works out and you can visit as often as possible. Your contributions to our little community are appreciated.
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Post by ProfGremlin on Jul 6, 2009 11:10:07 GMT -5
P.S. Thanks for being such a great group, I wish you all the best. Ah, geeze.... TKD, I'm sorry to hear it. Words seem inadequate in the face of such adversity. As a gentle reminder, if you have the ability there's always the library systems computers and the potential of wi-fi at coffeeshops and the like. Yeah, it's a hassle but it's better than being cutoff entirely. May the Gods hold you and yours in the palm of Their hands until the storm passes by and blue skies again grace the heavens. |
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Post by mahrundl on Jul 6, 2009 15:28:49 GMT -5
TKD, I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope that what you fear doesn't come to pass, and I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Is there anything that we can do to assist (other than the obvious answer of 'send money', which I'm fully aware that you haven't asked for)? There's not a lot that I can do physically, being on the opposite side of the planet, but if there is anything that occurs to you, let me know.
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Post by ragnorakk on Jul 6, 2009 17:31:04 GMT -5
Oh man - I'm sorry you've got so much to deal with. I hope you're able to get stabilized there. And for whatever
humiliation you receive from government disability or brothers, know that you're really liked and respected
around here. I wish that I could help you more pragmatically somehow - all I can suggest from recent court trouble
is get a lawyer as soon as you can (some still do pro-bono I hear...) - you've got a lot to deal with there, and I hope
you're able to come around here again soon, and you'll be in mind in the meantime. If email becomes easier for you
mine is spaceagecouple@gmail.com - I wish you strength to get on top of this.
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machfront
11th level Troll
Stalwart of the Trollbridge
"Let's go dark!"
Posts: 2,147
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Post by machfront on Jul 6, 2009 17:51:26 GMT -5
Oohh. Oh, man. d**n. I...I don't know what to say. I'll just say what I'm thinking I guess, huh?... This news and the details therein sadden me immensely. I wish there was something I could do. I hate not being able to fix it. As the Rush song, Presto, goes: "If I could wave my magic wand...I'd make everything all right" We will certainly be the poorer without you 'round these parts. You've done so very much for this community and your efforts are certainly worth all the praise we've happily heaped upon them.  To say that I'll miss you is an understatement. I sure hope and pray that things work out and soon, and that your life improves and gets in order and that then you're able to rejoin us, and stronger to boot! Keep your chin up, bro. You've lots of friends here, as you should well know. As the others said, if you need to talk, or if somehow it's easier, you can email me anytime as well. machfront1 at yahoo dot com. I'd always dig to hear from ya. Take care of yourself my friend. Best, Eric |
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order99
7th Level Troll
Coffee-fueled Carrion That Walks Like a Man
Posts: 1,039
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Post by order99 on Jul 6, 2009 19:42:14 GMT -5
TKD- Nothing I type can adequately express my sympathy-just hang in there. And no offense, but your brothers sound like fools. They have no idea how badly their decisions will cost them in the ways that truly matter... Frankly though, i'd rather help than kvetch. I need to know-do you surf on PC or do you have a laptop? Because- Laptop + Cheap Wi-fi card off Ebay/flea market/trade with neighbor + many public Libraries/coffeehouses/mall Food Courts etc =Free Internet Access! Also-i've spent the last few years collecting DIY projects in order to try and keep more of my hard-earned cash in my pocket. My Grandparents were Great Depression babies you see, and they tried their best to turn me into a Penny Pinching Machine before God called them Home...many of the projects i've collected are frivolous or hobbyist-oriented (boat-building, mask making etc) but there are some great ones like: PVC pipe Hydroponic gardening motorized bicycles for cheap transport solar thermal mass heaters and water heaters how to make a 100sq.foot workshop/guest cottage/storage building using pallets (often free from Craigslist) and $80 of plywood DIY furniture from junk (Garbage+Elbow grease+Yard Sale=Profit!) Solar Ovens etc... My fellow posters don't hear as much from me these days as they used to-mostly because i'm building two Solar Thermal heaters out of old soda cans, two Wood Stoves out of junked water heater cores and a Solar Food Dehydrator for next year. Trust me, nothing helps a depression like working with your hands-it gets driven out by the BURNING RAGE you feel when you drop a 50 lb steel barrel on you foot...or maybe that's just me. ;D PM me with a Real World address and i'll mail you what i've got-get some local friends and neighbors interested, maybe a local school, and you could have a community project going! Oh, and the above offer applies to anyone on this Forum as well.Harder times than these are on the way, so we need to learn to cope... Best Wishes TKD. |
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Post by Toad-Killer-Dog on Jul 6, 2009 19:45:06 GMT -5
Let me just say that your kind words are of infinite value to me, thank you all.
It has been so long since it seemed like anyone cared or had a kind word for me, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.
I would have replied sooner but early this morning I had to rush my Mother to the emergency room. She's stable now and hopefully no lasting damage has been done.
I'll be shuttling between the house and the hospital for at least a few days, possibly more, but I'll try and check in at least once a day.
Thanks for letting me know the world is not such a dark and lonely place.
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Post by Porkbelly on Jul 7, 2009 0:03:07 GMT -5
TKD,
A belated response... so sorry to hear your mother is back in the hospital. I hope the worst is now over. My sincere wishes that you both manage to pull through all this and get life back to a semblance of normality.
I really feel for you with the deep depression the whole situation must be causing. All I can say is take heart that you're not alone and we would all really hate to see you go offline. The trollbridge may just be a geeky hangout for rpg nerds but nerd-life is a secret part of our existence that many of us truly love. Real life is hard enough already, so it is important to stay engaged with the things that help keep your mind sharp and your mood positive.
You're a talented, creative and prolific writer my friend, and a real inspiration to many of the quiet strangers out here that spend their time reading your work. Take pride that the folks on this site appreciate your talents very much - that's not a trivial thing that you should have to let it go. Keep writing mate.
- Mike Read
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Post by feldrik on Jul 7, 2009 8:01:04 GMT -5
I am here to reenforce what order99 suggested...nothing drives out depression like busy hands and mind. Turn your creativity into something, game supplement, a novel even. The amazing ideas you have should be recorded.
Many authors are great because they used writting as a way to release their pain, even if they couched it in fiction like Tolkien.
Contact me at douglastoth@hotmail.com if you want.
It is hard being so far from someone that you are a friend with but we are on your side!
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Post by Toad-Killer-Dog on Jul 7, 2009 12:19:28 GMT -5
Sorry I've just run home to get a shower before I run back, but I can tell you my Mother is stable and they are working on her condition.
Her medicine is hard on her kidneys and they are trying to asses how much damage has been done at this point. I have to get back to help them administer a purging agent that will flush some of the built up calcium and potassium from her system and I'm better at handling her.
Thank you all, hopefully I will be able to take her home by this weekend and I will have a chance to reply to you all in more depth.
Until then, please know how much I appreciate all of your kind words and offers of help.
Thank you, I will get back to you as soon as I can.
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Post by mahrundl on Jul 7, 2009 15:32:10 GMT -5
TKD, I hope that your mother recovers as completely as possible from this issue. If you think that it would mean anything to her, there is at least one total stranger in Australia hoping for her health to improve.
You have to take care of your mother, but please remember to take care of yourself as well.
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